Hi guys!!

Sooooo, it’s my birthday today!!! Now, I don’t say that to brag (cause really, everyone has a birthday–what’s there to brag about???) and really the only reason I’m even bringing it up is because I WANT TO PLAY THIS SONG!!!!

(Can you guess how old I am?? Muahahahahahhahahaaaaa)

Woo hoo!!! It’s been a long time since I’ve talked about Taylor Swift, but since we’re on the subject… AAAAAH!!!! There’s going to be a Wildest Dreams music video!!! I’m so excited!!! Wildest Dreams was one of the songs I heard and instantly liked (which is VERY rare for me music-wise) and it’s also one of the songs that I use for my Beauty and the Beast retelling because it’s AWESOME AND I LOVE IT!!!

By the way, I should mention this now: This post is going to be a litany of random thoughts and things I want to do talk about for no real reason in particular!! YOU’VE ALL BEEN WARNED!!!! All right, here it comes!!!

What am I doing on this fine birthday morning?? Unfortunately, working on my PT applications. Actually, it turns out it won’t be that bad… I think I was building it up in my head. It turns out I don’t have that much more to do, but it’s all kind of busy work/annoying little things. I have to get my transcript requested and sent in and for some reason, they make you print out this form and mail it to your schools… Like what??? I’m kind of confused about it because I’m used to requesting transcripts online, but I guess PTCAS is old fashioned or something??? I don’t know, but I’ll do that today and it’ll be off my chest!!! I also should send emails asking physical therapists and professors for letters of recommendation, but uggghhhh, I’m totally dreading it because merrrrrh, it’s awkward… I think I know which professor I’m going to ask, but it’s been over a year since I’ve seen/talked to her and really, I didn’t “get to know” any of my professors very well because–let’s face it–I’m awkward and shy and I don’t feel like chatting up my professors during lunch break or anything. And then I’m debating which PTs I want to ask… I think I’ve decided, but I keep changing every few days, so we’ll see. But this is, again, super awkward because one of the PTs, I haven’t seen/talked to in over a year and then the other PT I’m thinking of asking… I don’t think she liked me much and haven’t talked to her in a while either, but the PT I’m working for now is pretty intimidating and I haven’t been working with him for very long/very often. DO YOU SEE MY PROBLEM??? Merrrhhhhh, I’ve just got to suck it up and do it!!!!!

Another thing that I’ve been thinking about… The main character in my Faerie Story, Leda. I’m worried about her, guys. Not because all of the horrible things that happen to her and all (muahaha), but because I think she might be too quiet and too passive.

If you remember, I went to Jennifer Nielsen’s class at this year’s LDStorymakers and one of my most profound things I learned during that class was that readers will not forgive a stupid character. The other thing she mentioned was that the character has to be proactive.

Leda’s not stupid–if anything, she’d be on the smarter side–so that’s not what I’m worried about. The thing is, she’s really shy, really awkward and pretty much a big pushover. What I’m worried about is that she’s not proactive enough. She does step up and do a lot of things, but many many times, she lets other people get their way, even if it means that she’s getting stomped on.

I’ve read a few books that have had passive characters and it really drove me nuts. I was dying of frustration, like WHY WON’T THEY JUST DO ______??? And it was annoying. Soooooo, definitely don’t want that in my own books.

So I’m trying to figure out how I can keep true to her shy/awkward/quiet nature and yet, still inject more personality to her voice and character. I REALLY hate it when characters are said to be really shy and then they just go blurting stuff out and doing all these brazen things (I see this a lot in some contemporaries) because why would that ever happen? It doesn’t seem like a shy character at all!!! And because I’m really shy (although it probably doesn’t seem like that at all in my blog), I especially hate that because it doesn’t seem true. Granted, I am on the pretty high end of shy, so maybe other less-shy-but-still-shy people can relate to this, but it’s one of my biggest pet peeves when I read. I’m always thinking–*AHEM*–shouting, YOU’RE NOT SHY!!!!

The other thing that worries me is voice. I’ve read a couple of books recently where I could not relate to the character. That is ABSOLUTELY the last thing I ever want to happen in my books. I know sometimes it’s subjective, but let’s face it, a bland/distant voice is never what you should be shooting for. And hence my worry. I’m not shooting for it, per se, but I worry that I write with a blah voice. I especially worry about this with Leda because she’s quiet. She (as of this moment) does have a very bland boring personality. And that’s what really worries me. I don’t want to change her personality, but it does make me wonder… Can passive characters ever be pulled off well?? In a way you don’t want to strangle them??? Ha, if there is, I don’t know if I’m going to be the person to pull it off.

Anyways, do you guys have any ideas with this?? I think I’m going to reread some books with quiet/shy/awkward characters that maintained their personality, yet still were interesting to read about. I’m thinking Laia from An Ember in the Ashes and I’m reading Heir of Fire right now and Sorscha is definitely a quiet character with an awesome voice. So hopefully that will help? (PLEASE PLEASE LET IT HELP!!!)

Or I don’t know?? Maybe I should play up Leda’s smarts??? She’s supposed to be smart, but it doesn’t really show in the book (as of now…) so that could definitely be something I enhance in later revisions. Kind of like Kestrel from The Winner’s Curse (although Leda’s not that smart). Kestrel doesn’t have very many physical abilities (similar to Leda) and therefore makes up for it by her intellect. Maybe that’s what I need to do with Leda… Anyways, that’s my biggest concern right now for my Faerie Story, although there is A LOT of other stuff I need to fix as well.

So that’s what’s been plaguing me of late… Also, something that I noticed yesterday when I started rereading Heir of Fire. OMG!!!!!! First of all, it’s amazing–more amazing than I remember. Sarah J Maas really does get better and better with each new book that she writes. I cannot believe how amazingly she weaves in details and descriptions, backstory, world building, voice, and narrative. WHAT THE CRAP???? How does she write so effortlessly??? So beautifully??? Secondly, it made me realize how shallow my world building is. Sarah’s got so many details, so much information about her characters and the world and the history and everything, that it made me think that I’m REALLY going to have to work on my world building. How does she think of all this stuff??? I think maybe I need to do more research… Except, I think it can be hard to do research on fantasy. I usually just read other fantasy books that I love for research, but should I be doing something more?? Like, watching the History Channel or something about wars or whatnot?? I don’t know… I kind of hate researching though. I wish I had a robot that I could ask questions and it would answer everything beautifully for me, hahaha. What do you guys do???

I feel like I originally had more to say than this, but now I’ve forgotten it all in my angst about Leda. Hahah. Well, this post has gone on long enough, so maybe it’s better this way.

All righty, see ya later!!


4 thoughts on “22

  1. Anna Leighton says:

    First of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY ( a day late)!!!!!! I hope you had a wonderful day. I totally understand your worries about your main character. I’m always worried that my mc will be unrelatable or everyone will hate her. You should check out DOVE ARISING by Karen Bao. The mc is so shy that she doesn’t talk for the first 2 chapters of the book. She becomes less shy as she gets thrown into tough situations, but it’s a natural progression. Maybe it can give you a few ideas!


    • erinkbay says:

      OMG ANNA, YOU ARE TOO SWEET!!!! (Hope you had a good day, too!! :D) But oooooohhh!!! Yes!!! I am so down for that!!! That’s exactly what I need!! I’m glad I’m not the only one with these worries… *SIGH* at least we’ve got each other to help us out!! 😀 (and aaah!! Did you get a wordpress???)


      • Anna Leighton says:

        Haha this sounds like another support group that needs to be created. And lol I made that wordpress years ago and totally forgot about until it automatically signed me in just now. I’ve never really used it.


      • erinkbay says:

        Oh hahaha!!! Funny!!! Yes, we should do it!!!! #QueenofShadowsstaystrongsupportgroup and #canttellifmycharacterisrelatablesupportgroup I’ll be on them for life 😀


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